I have a confession to make: I’m addicted to television. Not in the traditional sense however, or even in the becoming-traditional sense of downloading shows or watching them online. No, I spend hours a week reading synopses and recaps of any show I deem too stupid to spend time watching, but not stupid enough to not know about and make fun of.
Now my reasons for reading television are fairly numerous. I am a rather avid reader, I will read pretty much anything I can get my hands on and having constant access to recaps for all sorts of shows (many of which aren’t currently showing in my neck of the woods) is great for me. I can read the recaps anywhere, anytime, without disrupting anyone with background noise. I can start and stop reading them whenever I please.
The best part though, is that due to the fairly rapid decline in quality of most television programs, recaps are usually funnier and more entertaining then the shows themselves. And there’s nothing like taking the piss out of shows that are already bordering on parodies of themselves (let’s say America’s Next Top Model or Rock of Love).
Recaps seem to be becoming more and more commonplace around these ol’ internets. My absolute favourites are located at Televisionwithoutpity.com, definitely home to some of the most witty and clever writers out there. I also appreciate Rich Juzwiak’s mad gif-making skills and acerbic take on ANTM at FourFour (he also writes for VH1’s blog). And when I feel like slummin’ it, I check out TVgasm for screencaps and sarcasm (I mean no disrespect to the writers, but the site’s terrible layout drives me up the wall).
Fear not, I still read plenty of traditional novels, and I occasionally make the time to actually watch tv (although this is more rare). And for those who don’t believe me about the humour in some of these recaps, I bring you a quote from a recent recap of Rock of Love Bus posted on TWOP (by the brilliant Potes, my favourite recapper):
“Mindy tells us that Beverly is in love with the idea of being in love with a rock star. This is disheartening to Mindy, because she’s retarded. She’s really falling for Bret, and feels like there’s a great possibility that she’ll be hurt. She comes out wearing a train conductor hat and weeping, like Thomas the Skank Engine. Jamie says that Mindy is in her own little soap opera, and is cracking in front of our eyes. Her mascara and fake tan stay in place, though. Impressive.”
If calling someone “Thomas the Skank Engine” doesn’t crack you up, well I think I just don’t know you anymore. Plus, it’s far less embarrassing then admitting to someone that you actually WATCH Rock of Love, right?